Relationships: Surviving social media

Aaaaaah, the beauty of social media. What was life without it? How did we get through our days before mindlessly yet very actively swiping our index fingers up, down, left, and right across the screen of our mobile devices? And God forbid, social media disappears tomorrow, what will we do?

Social media has had an impact on so many areas of our lives. We've learned useful little hacks, silly little dances, weird facts, mind-blowing tips, and useless tricks. Some of us have earned graduate degrees in makeup application and mastered the art of lace wigs while others have gone on to become tech gurus, selling dreams in the form of masterclasses. Some of us have used our social media powers for good bestowing upon the masses relationship advice and whatnot. But on the other side of the dream, there's a nightmare. The forces of evil have united to pose a threat to the most fickle institution of the new age: relationships. Oh, how we have allowed social media to do a number on our relationships, specifically, our romantic relationships. And it's not just the super sensitive or insecure among us who are experiencing the shitstorm. Or is it?

DISCLAIMER: Social media doesn't ruin relationships. The way people in relationships behave on social media is really what fucks things up. 

Here are 4 ways people are recklessly using social media to damage their romantic relationship.

#1 They romanticize drool-worthy couple content.

Photo by Andres Ayrton on Pexels.

Drool-worthy couple content can be seen on social media ad nauseam. It's everywhere! But this isn't even a new concept; rom-coms have been here, and they've done that. These seemingly perfect social media couples who probably aren't even in a relationship behind the scenes have overtaken our feed and explore page, somehow entered our hearts, and are constantly on our minds. Real life and relationships most likely will not look like a 30-second Instagram reel decorated with affection and sprinkled with kisses from head to toe. Imagine seeing a blissful 30-second clip of someone's 24 hours (that's only 0.035% of a day) and thinking our own love life doesn't match up. Real life has ups and downs, moments we wish could last forever and moments we wish never existed. When we focus on the picture-perfect content, we fail to appreciate what we do have. 

"Don't lose what is real, chasing 

what only appears to be real."

So instead of romanticizing and complaining about what's not right in your own relationship, cherish the things that are beautiful about your love and be inspired by the blissful content to work toward improving things with your special person. 

#2 They're social media active while leaving their person on read/delivered.

Photo by Julien L on Unsplash

Yikes! Here's another one. You'll probably become furious, aggravated, and steaming hot at the sight of any social medial activity displayed by your person while you're awaiting a response to  a text you sent what seems like ages ago. It's understandable because one would assume that the same device used for socials is the same device from which a reply to a text message can be sent (in most cases, this is true- there are exceptions). So why are you active over there but ignoring me over here? On one side of the argument, we can consider that your significant other is probably not in the frame of mind to respond. Like, have you ever received a text message but you're just not in the mood to respond, or you don't know how to, but in the same breath, you're on Instagram swiping up a storm, watching stories, liking, and commenting? On the other side of the argument, you want to scream, "What the fuuuuuuuuuuuck?!" and it would be justified because why are you being disrespectful and not talking to me? Why are you choosing to interact with the whole-wide world but not me? I don't want to be in a relationship with anyone comfortable with leaving me on read or delivered while leisurely using their phone to do other things.

Communication is key. We've heard this time and time again. Find a healthy balance between communicating with your person and using social media. Not in the mood to talk? Say that. 

#3 They're obsessing over their partner's social media activity.

I'm a firm believer in "Don't see no shit, won't be no shit". Keep all that shit to yourself. This is partly because I don't want to have a heart attack from scrolling. I'd be totally fine with not following my significant other on social media because my heart can't take it. And the other reason is that I believe my significant other should be able to have a life outside of our relationship...respectfully and responsibly, of course. 

I'd like to say don't check the following, don't be too alarmed at the posts they like or the comments they leave, don't zoom in on the background of their pictures, don't read into the memes or quotes they post on their stories, etc. But truthfully, in this day and age, that's not the best advice. Do what works for you sis (and bro). People are out here on social media doing the devil's work! They're being thirsty and they don't know how to control themselves. 

However, if you feel like you need to stalk and obsessively monitor your partner's social media activity, perhaps this isn't the person for you or perhaps you've got some work to do on yourself. 

#4 They're not mindful of their own social media activity.

Photo by cottonbro studio on Pexels.

Here comes the contradiction. While everyone is free to express themself on social media as they see fit, it's still a good idea to be courteous about what we choose to post, like, and comment on. Liking posts within reason and in good taste shouldn't be a cause for concern. After all, that's the whole point of social media. You see something you like so you like it, and you leave a comment, you share it, you might even tap the "follow" button. It becomes a cause for concern when you're being all thirsty and extra; when you create a close friends group that excludes your partner (private stories that only can be viewed by a select few) or even worst, a finsta (a secondary Instagram where your identity is mostly hidden- essentially, a fake Instagram account).  

Social media doesn't break up relationships. The shit you post and the way you act on social media do.

Be respectful and responsible when posting and interacting on social media. 

Regardless of how you choose to express yourself on social media, be sure to do it respectfully and responsibly. Focus on what's going right in your relationship instead of being envious of the bliss that's being displayed online. Instead of obsessively monitoring your partner's social media, have a conversation with them about what might be concerning you. And always remember that social media won't ruin your love but acting single on there, will.

Over to you...

What are your thoughts on the topic? Are you using social media in a healthy way so as to protect your relationship? Have you ever been caught up in the romanticizing trap? Are you one that lurks and examines your significant other's every move on social media? How do you feel about not following your significant other?

Until next time,